The pair got together while Cheryl was going through her divorce to second husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini at the beginning of 2016.I know I'm breaking her heart, but I'm not strong enough to sort myself out.
You can be sure that choosing us will be the easiest way to find a Russian bride.
Indeed, had opportunity not come knocking six years ago in the form of Popstars: The Rivals - the reality television show which led to the formation of Girls Aloud - things might have turned out very differently for the then Cheryl Tweedy.
Three hundred miles north of her six-bedroom, gated mansion in leafy Oxshott (complete with its own cinema - she is, after all, a WAG) lies an altogether different residence.
But Cheryl's and Gillian's convictions (of which more later) pale into insignificance when compared with the track record of their brother, Andrew, an alcoholic glue-sniffer who has clocked up more than 50 court appearances and spent a third of his life behind bars.
It is Andrew who illustrates with sobering clarity just how differently the nation's newly crowned sweetheart could have turned out.