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For those who are abused, it is important to remember, the abuse received seldom has anything to do with them. One of the hardest things to realize is one has little to no influence on making deep or lasting changes in the abuser.
Even if the abusers wants to change, they seldom want to put any real effort towards changing. They stick around hoping they can fix things and often end up blaming themselves for the state of the relationship.
Next identify the emotions you experience from the abuse.
Is it guilt, shame, hurt, rejection, sadness, or anger.
For them the past becomes difficult to access or memory gaps exist.
Those who try to meet these expectations will end up feeling like a failure because it is a game they cannot win.
Someone who will also help you obtain skills, so in the future you will not find yourself in the same situation again.
Nothing changes unless you give yourself a chance to change.
Take inventory and get in touch with the emotions your nervous system has been signalling you with. It can be difficult to sort these things out on your own.
Find someone who can help you process and work though the discomforts of your situation.